We are going to be writing diary entries again this week. You can choose whose viewpoint you will take. You might be Grug or Eep. The first 2 activities will allow you to collect good vocabulary and then practice putting it together before you finally write your own diary entries.
This week we are going to look at a life changing moment for the Croods. This happens just after Eep returns from her adventure to meet Guy.
She is angry with her family. Then something terrible happens.
Watch the clip as many times as you need to but only up to 3 minutes.
After the first time you watch it make notes about the Sound Colour Emotion and Movement in the clip.
I found it helpful not to watch the clip but to only listen when I was writing the sound words as I was less distracted by everything I was seeing.
Attached are the SCEM grid and a still taken from the clip
As ever there is an example to help you. Use it if you like but only magpie bits of it!
Today we will be looking at some writing that could do with livening up!
Watch the clip from yesterday again if you like, to get you in the mood you might want to have your SCEM grid ready.
I have written some paragraphs that need a little bit of work. We can up level in a variety of ways but today we will look at interesting sentence openers and perhaps adding further detail where we can.
Let’s up- level this one together. Watch the following short video, it is me modelling a way to up-level the paragraph.
I am so angry! She sneaked out, can you believe that? She knows how dangerous it is outside, even in the day time! She found something new, but I soon smashed up that pink, spiky thing she brought home. She was so angry with me about that, she stamped her feet and shouted. That was when something really bad happened.
Now have a go at this one by yourself.
Everything began to shake. Hundreds of rocks fell down. The cliffs squashed together and nearly trapped us all. I managed to save us by tripping Thunk with a flying rock as the world crashed down. We only just survived… even Grandma lived to tell the tale.
If you are stuck you could use these words and phrases to help you.
raining all around us
and huddling us all together
Today it’s your turn. You will begin to write your own diary entry today for the day the cave crumbled.
You can watch the clip again if you need to, up to 3 minutes as this is where your diary entry will stop for today. Remember to use all the build up work we have been doing and apply the skills to your writing. Use that lovely vocabulary you generated and think about using the ISPACE mat to help you to choose sentence openers.
The ISPACE mat is below to help you. Don’t forget to share your work with us on class dojo. I will make sure there is a space for it in your portfolio.
After the dust has settled in the clip at 3 minutes, the family realise their home is gone. Eep soon separates from the group. She sees something amazing. Watch the rest of the clip to see what she has found. Today you will add to your diary entry. This part of the clip feels a little different from the earthquake bit. Try to get your reader to feel the sadness at losing their home and then the excitement and the beauty of what they see.
Here is a little video of a modelled write to get you going, it is not perfect, but shows you my thinking as I was writing.
As today’s task is only a short one you will have time to look back at your 2 diary extracts and see if you can improve them. Think about powerful vocabulary and interesting sentence structures.
Check your punctuation, there’s no excuses for missing capital letters and full stops! Remember year 4, your sentence openers should be followed by a comma and most importantly, check it makes sense!
When you have revisited your work, have a think about whether or not the Croods should enter the new world.
Record your thoughts in any way you would like. Perhaps a mind map using colours or a list of bullet points. Think about reasons it would be good to go and reasons it might not be.